Today is the most hopeful and optimistic day of the year.
That’s great!
Whatever goals or resolutions you’ve set for yourself, I’m excited for you!
We are all trying to improve ourselves, and even if things haven’t turned out the way we wanted in the past, we hope this time will be different.
Musician Nick Cave describes hope as “optimism with a broken heart,” and I think that’s beautifully accurate. We’re all trying to be different when change is so damn hard.
If you’re trying to build a new exercise habit or change the number on the scale this year, I salute you. Setting a goal to change is very commendable.
But to give ourselves the best chance of achieving our goal, we must combine the goal with some self-reflection and self-awareness.
Here are TWO questions to ask yourself as 2025 begins…
Question 1: What’s different this time?
I’m proud of you for starting over.
But what’s different about this effort?
If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
If you choose the same goal or strategy that you have tried (unsuccessfully) in the past, the end result will be the same: another wasted year of “why can’t I get my act together?”
So think carefully about what’s different this time!
Don’t just go “on the XYZ diet” or “give up all sugar forever” or “train for a marathon,” especially if you’ve tried those things before and can’t stick to them.
This time there must be something different:
- Make fewer changes.
- Choose ONE goal and focus on it.
- Choose a different exercise routine.
- Choose a different diet or nutritional change.
- Choose a different time of day to exercise.
- Recruit a friend to join you so you’re not doing it alone.
- Create your new desired behavior useful or necessary.
Prove to yourself that you have learned something from your previous attempts. Don’t let past failures be in vain; they showed you what doesn’t work for you.
Try something different this time!
Question 2: What are you afraid of?
You’re full of momentum now, and that’s great.
But in three weeks, life will happen and something will go wrong.
In the past, what has been your inclination when this happened?
We ask every NF Coaching Client before they start: “What are you most nervous about?”
That answer is something they are aware of as a result of their previous efforts:
Are you going to get busy and decide to “take a break until things slow down?” Great! Now that you know when that little voice in your head says this, you can prepare for it, make plans to do something else and decide not to. to have to listen to that little voice in your head.
Are you having a bad day and going completely off the rails? Great! Now you know that if you’ve had a bad day, you can forgive yourself, not look back in anger or guilt, and get right back on track.
Are you going to give up, even though you really want to keep going? Great! This happens to all of us when motivation wanes after a few weeks. To consider adding a Ulysses Pact to protect you from your weaknesses or to make a bet with a friend to keep you accountable.
NF Coach Matt Myers was recently at the Mental Golf Podcast with Josh Nichols – and at 24:30 into the episode, Matt pointed out something to Josh that surprised him:
“You told me before you started, ‘I know I’m going to come out of the gate HARD, but after about three weeks I’m going to burn out and disappear.’
And I said, ‘Thanks for letting me know,’ and I had all these alarms and alerts ready to contact you repeatedly around the 21st day!’
Josh had the self-awareness to know where he would screw up in the future. He and Coach Matt planned for it and crossed the threshold together.
Since then, they’ve worked together for two months (and counting), and Josh has only missed one day of checking in, and missing one day hasn’t triggered Josh’s normal “all-or-nothing” behavior.
This time it COULD be different
We all want to change, and even if we are aware of it…
We often bite off more than we can chew:
Our goals and expectations often exceed the reality that we are fallible, busy, complicated people living unpredictable lives.
That’s okay!
If we are aware of these things, if we can try differently… then even if this next If the attempt doesn’t work, we can remove that strategy from the list of potential successful paths and try again.
That’s all life is: try, fail, adapt, restart.
-Steve
PS: If you don’t want to make this trip alone, I would be honored if you checked out the NF coaching program.
Our coaches are great and we look forward to helping you achieve your goals. We’ve had a LOT of registrations over the last few days, which makes me really excited to help so many new people.